


Brawn and His Brain

by atomicnebula



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, BL, Boy Love, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff, High School, Humor, Loss of Virginity, M/M, POV First Person, Sexual Frustration, Yaoi, eruri - Freeform, this is some gay shit
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-16
Updated: 2017-12-08
Packaged: 2019-01-18 03:26:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 15,577
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12379941
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/atomicnebula/pseuds/atomicnebula
Summary: Levi has become a big part in Mike's life, but when his cousin Erwin moves back into town, Levi is confused about his own feelings. Could this be a new blossoming romance? As if.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> OH SHIT GUYS GUESS. WHO. IS. FUCKING. BACK. 
> 
> Time for some modern day, high school baby boys. They're gonna be learning a whole bunch... about each others bodies. I'm so excited for you guys to get into this. I'm taking my time, so I have no idea when chapters will be updated. I am however holding myself to at least 3,000 words per chapter so each update will be huge. But I also run a school club along with being a full time college student and working. I'm honestly a mess and I don't know how I find time to write sometimes. Anyways, please enjoy yourselves! I've had so much fun writing this first chapter.

            “Agh. Fuck… please, no more!” I gasped out, my lungs felt like they were on fire and my body ached immensely. The only sound I could hear was my ragged breathing, my heart pounding, and my best friend bitching at me from up ahead.

            “Come on, pussy,” Mike was only joking but I hated every second of this shit. I may have said I wanted to work-out but this was a mistake. A huge mistake. He rolled his eyes at me, jogging back to where I was bent in half on the track trying to catch my breath. “Man, come on. We’ve only gone three miles.”

            I huffed a laugh out of my nose, sweat dripping off my forehead. Making stray black hairs literally cling to my neck and face. “That’s three too many, my body is screaming for me to stop. You finish whatever hell you can endure and I’m going to go shower and change, okay?”  He rolled his eyes at me again and continued down the track. I honestly don’t know who he does it, but I guess it helps if you keep up with it over the years. Mike was dedicated to baseball, it was a year-round thing for him. He was also my best friend so when he offered help, how could I say no?

            I shook my head and trudged my way into the locker room. Apparently, it was empty for the moment and I felt overjoyed I had some time alone. A hot shower was calling my name. I stripped quickly and stepped behind the plastic curtain, letting the hot water hit all my muscles. My head rested on the cool tile in front of me and I let out a low groan. Hot water never felt so good.

            The water started to run cold and I decided it was time to get out. I wrapped my towel around my waist, there wasn’t anyone in the locker room anyway, did I really need a towel? Walking out from behind the curtain, a vivid chill ran up my spine, this locker room is colder than I remember. My bare feet padded softly over the tile and I scooped up my sweaty clothes from the bench and shoved them into my gym bag. I reached into the top of my locker to grab my clean clothes when a voice rang from behind me.

            “Hey man-oh, I’m sorry. You’re not who I was looking for.” Startled, my clothes slipped out of my grip and toppled onto the floor.

            “Fucking hell,” I mumbled. I turned to look at the person who somehow snuck up on me but I was at a loss for words. I knew everyone at this damned school, but he was too gorgeous for me not to remember. Tousled blonde hair, icy blue eyes, a jaw line so sharp I swear it could cut me from just looking at it, and the most toned muscles. “Uh…” Normally I would be pissed, but his gaze made me want to melt. _No, fucking idiot, don’t get caught up in some pretty boy._ I looked away quickly, trying to pretend I wasn’t absolutely star struck for a moment. “It’s fine, it happens.” I bent over to grab my clothes but I could still feel his eyes on me. “Did you need something?” I snapped at him, looking back at him angrily.

            There was a rosy color on his cheeks but he responded quickly, “no, I-I just, no, sorry, I’ll be going.” He finally left and I sighed in relief. Time to get dressed.

            By the time I was dressed and I had squeezed out most of the water from my hair, Mike was waiting for me outside. Typical. Not only was he a fast runner, he was fast at everything basically. I prepared myself for the usual bickering and ground my teeth. Turning the corner, Mike had his back turned to me. He was chatting with someone. Was he on the phone? No, someone was standing in front of him. As I approach I tried to peak around him and see who was so cheerfully chatting with him. Ugh, if Mike wasn’t so big I could see.

            “Yea! I play second base now-Oh! Levi, took you long enough, I thought I was going to start turning grey over here.” Mike punched me lightly on the shoulder. “Levi, I’d like you to meet my cousin, Erwin. His mom and him just moved back to town and he’s planning on joining our baseball team.” I looked up to find the same smug face I encountered in the locker room.

            “It seems we’ve already met.” I scoffed.

            Mike looked down at me with wide eyes. “Oh, when?”

            “A few minutes ago,” Erwin chimed in. He looked shyly at me, that rosy color still staining his cheeks. I could feel my own face burning slightly. “I walked into the locker room looking for you but you weren’t down here yet.”

            “Sly dog, trying to sneak a look at the cheerleader’s aye? Watch out, Nanaba is mine.” Mike finally confessed to Nanaba last year during homecoming and she fell for him instantly. Mike laughed loudly. Typical. Another Mike, broad, toned, and a complete horn dog. This was going to be fun. I groaned and shifted my backpack over my shoulder, pushing past Mike I headed for the library. “Levi! I’ll catch you after practice, okay?” He yelled at me as I continued to walk. I looked back quickly and nodded. He knew where to find me, in my corner of the library reading. Like always.

            Well it really wasn’t _my_ corner, but I went there every day after classes while Mike went to practice. No one bothered me there either, though I’ve been told I always look angry. Whatever, I wanted to be alone. I sat myself down at the table, setting my bag in the chair next to me. A signal for no visitors.

            It was a few hours before I lifted my face out of my book. My phone was vigorously vibrating on the table. I glanced at the screen to see Mikes name. Practice must be over.

            “Levi! I was hoping you weren’t too lost in your fantasy land to pick up the phone. Anyways mom invited you to dinner, I told her you said yes. So, I already know your answer is yes.”

            I groaned. “You’re lucky I didn’t have any plans tonight. I love your mom and her cooking, I would’ve said yes either way.”

            “Okay, well I’ll meet you outside in like ten minutes? Coach ran us a little late and I’ve still gotta grab my shit out of my actual locker.”

            We hung up and I regrettably bookmarked my spot, shoving my book back into my bag. Mike and I always drove to school together, that’s why I waited for him until practice was over every day. He’s been my best friend since I moved here when I was in fifth grade. I only lived three houses down from his, it was an easy commute after he started driving.

            A heavy scent of garlic clouded my senses as we walked into Mikes house. She was making pasta which means lots of garlic bread. My stomach growled loudly. I had forgotten to grab a snack before I went to the library and now I was horribly reminded. I slipped my shoes off by the front door and barreled my way into the kitchen to see her just about to pour the noodles out of the pot. “Hey Ms. Zacharius!” I announced, happily seating myself on her barstool. She vigorously shook the noodles out, the steam fogging her glasses.

            “Oh, sweet baby Levi, I told you to just call me Mom, I practically raised you with Kuchel.” She chuckled and walked over to me, wrapping her arms around my shoulders and pulling me into a warm embrace. I sighed happily, the smell of her perfume reminded me I was home. Safe in her arms. “I’m always happy to see you sweet pea and I’m so happy you could make it for dinner! I invited Kuchel over as well, but she might be late. Poor woman, they over work her at that hospital. But I don’t think she minds, helping all those people warms her heart.” My mom always worked long days at the hospital since I started my freshman year, now that I’m a senior I got used to the idea. She always made sure to get at least one day off to spend with me, and run errands of course. Our time spent together was grocery shopping and cleaning house.

            Soon Mike walked into the kitchen, giving his mom a light kiss on the cheek. He tried to sneak a piece of garlic bread from the little basket and she whipped him away with her dish towel. “Michael Zacharius, go wash up before you put your dirty hands on my cooking!” He laughed at her, tapping me on the shoulder on his way out. I trotted over and gave her a kiss on the cheek too before following Mike upstairs into his room. They lived in an old, two-story, brick house with hard wood floors that creaked under our feet, so everyone knew we were making our way up the stairs.

            Mike tossed his backpack onto his bed, quickly stripping off his sweaty clothes and walking into his bathroom turning the shower on. I followed and tossed myself onto his bed, pulling out my phone. Nothing too exciting was going on, since I only hung out with Mike most of the time, my phone was quiet. I heard the doorbell ring loudly downstairs, “I got it!” I yelled. I knew Ms. Zacharius would still be busy making dinner.

            I ran down the stairs, almost sounding like a one-man army tearing through the house, and whipped the door open. I don’t know who I was expecting but out of all people it was, “Erwin.”

            Erwin took a step back, obviously startled. “Levi, hi. Am I at the wrong house, I was looking for Mike.”

            I opened my mouth to respond but Ms. Zacharius came from behind me and squealed. “Erwin look at how big you’ve gotten! You and Mike are growing like trees. You’re becoming such a handsome young man. Come in, please, food is almost done. Why don’t you help Levi set the table?” I nodded silently, stepping aside to let Erwin in. He stood a good foot from me and I became very aware of our height difference. Mike was a few inches taller than him but my eyes only came to his chest. His very solid and built chest, fuck, did he always smell this good? I could feel my face burn and I turned and hastily made my way into the dining room. Erwin was right on my heels. Two of my normal steps was only one for him. Ugh, I guess being a gigantic fucking tree runs in the family. While I was doomed to forever be short for the rest of my life.

            Erwin took hold of the plates and I grabbed the silverware and cups. We had to set a place for both mom’s, myself, Erwin, Mike, and Nanaba. I loved having dinner here, as much as I liked having the house to myself. There was something that just felt right when I was here. It was really a family here. I was so lost in thought I wasn’t watching where I was stepping and my foot got caught on the leg of the table. Thankfully I was already done setting down the glass I had in my hands but I knew I was going to tumble to the floor. I hopelessly reached out to catch myself. Instead of grabbing the table or even a chair, my hands now firmly grasped Erwin’s biceps, his large hands catching me around my waist.

            The few seconds we stood there like that felt like an eternity. My eyes were wide and I just stared at his chest, watching it rise and fall rhythmically. “That was a close one,” Erwin mumbled. Was his breath as hot as he made me feel?  

            “Yea, thanks.” I replied quietly. I slowly looked up, fearing now that I looked like a helpless child. Though he looked down at me, his eyes were filled with concern but something else that I couldn’t quite tell. His cheeks still held that rosy color but I could also feel my own cheeks burning. Maybe it was just embarrassment, but everywhere he touched me, my skin felt like it was on fire. My hands were still gripping his biceps, my fingers had slipped beneath the fabric of his t-shirt sleeves so we were skin-to-skin. He was more solid than I had thought. This man could probably snap my body in half no problem. Even when he wasn’t flexing I could still see and _feel_ the definition of his muscles. _Fucking hell._

            I took a quick step back hearing Nanaba announce herself as she walked in the door. “I’m home!” Soon enough another one-man army made his way down the stairs, running straight to Nanaba, and scooping her up into his arms. I rubbed my hands against my jeans a few times before promptly turning away from Erwin and making my way out of the dining room and into a bathroom. “Hi Levi!” I heard Nanaba shout after me, but I shut the door and I finally had space to myself.

            My heart beat pounded in my ears but I felt like it was my fists pounding against the tile walls. What was I thinking? Erwin was Mike’s cousin, and a man no less! A very tall, broad… muscular… sexy… man. I only met him hours ago how could he cloud my mind so easily? Ugh, I can stay calm, this doesn’t mean anything. It’s just a stupid crush, I guess. It’ll go away. I took a few, okay a lot, deep breaths before I decided to leave the safety of the bathroom. I could get through dinner with everyone around me. They were easy distractions.

            Being the last one at the table, I had no choice to where I sat. normally that wasn’t a huge deal, but of course I would next to, ugh, Erwin. I wanted to hate him. I really did, that was easier than trying to figure out what I was feeling. But I couldn’t. Erwin hasn’t done anything wrong. Except for being such a distraction. Other than that, he’s actually been nice during what little time I’ve spent with him.

            We all served ourselves and I was so happy to dig into my pasta. My stomach had been bitching at me for that last hour for skipping snack time. Nanaba was lively chatting with Ms. Zacharius and telling Mike to slow down before he inhaled the whole table. Mike rolled his eyes and continued to chow down. I refused to turn my head enough to see what Erwin had gotten himself into, food was my priority. Soon I relaxed, catching up with Nana about school and complaining about how much homework we had. I stretched in my chair, hearing my spine pop in multiple places. Gah, that felt fucking great. I shifted a little, knocking my knee against something. Well something was actually someone. I was going to shrug it off until Erwin spoke for the first time since we started eating.

            “My bad, I’ve got long legs.” Erwin said, pulling his feet underneath his chair.

            “Damn trees I tell you Nana, these boys just won’t quit growing.” Ms. Zacharius laughed, which started a small laughing fit around the table. I huffed a laugh out of my nose, trying to hide the rising blush on my cheeks. This was the first time I had heard Erwin really laugh too, it was deep and rich, and the smile that spread across his face was filled with pure joy. It felt magical. It was intoxicating, really. Before I knew it, I was laughing with him.

            “Wow, Levi, I’ve never seen you laugh. Let alone crack a smile like that!’ Nana announced breaking the laughing fit. I choked on my breath and stood quickly.

            “Uh-uh-uhh, may I be excused?” I asked nervously.

            “Of course sweet pea, just rinse your dish out for me and put it in the dishwasher.” Ms. Zacharius told me. I grasped my plate and practically ran for the kitchen. I didn’t want to ruin their dinner. I just couldn’t be seen like that. I’ve always been an emotionless robot, I didn’t know how to handle all of these messy feelings. What was happening to me?


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I ended up writing this faster than anticipated (and a lot more than I expected), and I was going to hold off to make you guys wait. BUT I CAN'T WAIT TO SHOW YOU!

            This was ridiculous. I’ve never had issues like this, why did Erwin make my brain feel like mush? I literally felt like jelly around him. “Agh I’m so stupid!” I yelled at myself.

 “I wouldn’t say that.”

  _You’ve got to be kidding me._ This man showed up at the most convenient time. I turned slowly from the sink so I could face him. I was so pissed. Did he follow me from the table? What made him the expert of who I was? “Why do you say that?” I retorted.

“Mike talks so highly of you. I can barely get him to shut up about you sometimes when he’s done raving about Nanaba. He’s always telling me about what classes you’re getting into and how you’re never satisfied with even a B.” I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms over my chest, trying to look disinterested. “I know how much he looks up to you too, and I don’t blame him.” I could feel myself blushing and I tried to keep my eyes on the floor, tracing the patterns in the tile. But Erwin decided to step closer and block my view. “Levi,” his mouth was right next to my ear. He spoke barely above a whisper. His voice was low and rich and my name rolled off his tongue so smoothly. “Mike failed to mention how incredibly sexy you are.”

My head snapped up so fast I thought I would break my neck. “Excuse me?” Erwin moved back from the side of my head and was now almost nose to nose with me. I could smell his cologne and feel how hot his breath was against my already burning face. Erwin chuckled, obviously amused by how flustered I was.

“You heard me, or else you wouldn’t be blushing so hard.” He took the back of his fingers and rubbed them against my cheek. “You’re making it so hard for me to be a gentleman, though I doubt you’d want me to be gentle with you.”

My ears started to ring. But it wasn’t just a white noise ring, it was like an alarm. My eyes shot open but instead of Erwin and I in the kitchen, it was now my ceiling. The annoying ringing was my phone, which meant my ass was going to work… on a Saturday. I pushed the heels of my hands on my eyes and groaned. I ripped my sheets off, I’ve never woke up so frustrated. Why was I thinking of him? And why was I thinking of him like that? My dick annoyingly reminded me that I was just another sexually frustrated teen. This boy was causing me hell. Maybe work would get my mind back on track, hard to focus on anything else when you’re making coffee. I had slipped on my black skinny jeans and dark grey V-neck, before shoving my feet into my high tops, grabbing my hoodie, and running out the door. My shift didn’t start for an hour, so I had plenty of time to get coffee myself.

 Soon I stepped through the door and was cheerfully greeted by my coworker, Hanji. She screeched my name, startling Jean and Petra who were obviously true zombies in the morning. Like me. “Levi! Good morning! Are you ready for coffee as dark as your soul?” Hanji always seemed to have a pasted smile on her face and the energy level of a child. She turned her back to me grabbing my coffee and thankfully a chocolate chip muffin, I didn’t even have to ask this time. Hanji was good about giving me a surprise snack and those happened to be my favorite. “Here you go!” For once she didn’t seem intent on talking my ear off this morning. I glanced over my shoulder to watch her return behind the counter. She went right up to Petra, that stupid smile still plastered on her face. I rolled my eyes and focused on my “breakfast”.

 As the day went on and coffee after coffee was made, I stared outside. The bright morning I woke up to had now turned grey and rainy. At least I remembered to bring my hoodie today. The café was now quiet, a few people kept to themselves sipping at their drinks. I took a slow breath through my nose. I felt relaxed, even if I was at work. I crossed my arms and leaned on the counter watching people through the window as they ran from the rain, hugging their umbrellas and coats tightly. I laughed at them, but I knew I’d be doing the same thing if I wasn’t at work. I turned my back to the rain and dried cups. Since I had maybe twenty minutes left of my shift, busy work would make the time go by faster.

 Behind me I heard the door open, it’s tiny bell disturbing the quiet café. “Good afternoon, welcome to The Well.” I said, setting down the now dry mug and tossing my rag onto my shoulder.

“I didn’t know you worked here.”

I bit my tongue to force myself not to groan angrily. I swear to fucking God, he’s going to pop up everywhere I go. “Mike didn’t tell you?” I asked stupidly, turning around. Erwin shook his head no, droplets falling from the tips of his blonde hair. He reached up to pull the hood from his head, revealing a massive bed head look. I snorted looking at him, he looked like a child. “Hey, you’re getting my counter wet, quit it. You’re like an over grown child.” I grabbed the rag off the shoulder and wiped down the counter. Reaching over the counter, I brought the rag down on Erwin’s hair. I paused for a moment, my hand tightly wound in the rag. Erwin’s large hand covered mine now. He was colder than I expected but he was also very wet from the rain. He leaned awkwardly to get within my reach. Erwin moved our hands together, attempting terribly at drying his hair.

 “Sorry, I hope I didn’t get you wet.” Erwin grasped my hand, removing it from his head and gently setting it on the counter. “Maybe next time I’ll remember to bring an umbrella.” I just stared at him, my words caught in my throat. I just nodded and kept staring, the blue in his eyes seemed so mesmerizing. Erwin cleared his throat, releasing the grip on my hand. Had he just been holding my hand the entire time?

  “Oh, right, right. What can I get for you?” I watched his gaze go from my face to the board behind me. This gave me a great chance just to look at him, was he as wonderful as my mind made him?   _Fuck yes, he was_. Even with his bed head, he still seemed so god like. Tall, muscular, broad, and intimidating. I chewed on my bottom lip as I stared at him, my eyes following down his jaw line to his defined collar bones sticking to his wet shirt, his muscular arms crossed at his chest, which only made his shirt ride up on his torso so that the bottom of his stomach was showing. His pants were snug against his protruding hip bones, dusty blonde hairs trailed up from the button on his jeans.

 “Can I get a caramel macchiato?” Erwin asked, oblivious to my gaze.

My head shot up and I nodded, at a loss for words, only air came out of my mouth. “Uh, uh…” I blinked a few times before my brain kicked in that I was working. “Yea, would you like it iced or hot?”

 “Hot, please.”

  “Can do, I’ll have it down at the end of the counter when it’s ready okay?”

“Thanks so much,” Erwin gave me a small smile before pulling his phone out and walking towards the seating area.

I got butterflies in my stomach watching him walk away. Is this what a crush felt like? I felt incredibly stupid and I couldn’t seem to focus on anything but him. This was infuriating. I grabbed a mug from the counter behind me, it was dark grey with veins of white and light grey running around it, reminded me a lot of a geode. Running through the steps made me smile because this was honestly my favorite drink to make. It was stacked the opposite of a latte, it was quite literally an upside-down latte. Vanilla syrup, steamed milk, espresso shots, and to top it off was a caramel drizzle. Even though I liked my coffee dark and bitter, if I needed a guilt coffee, I’d probably opt for this. Without a second thought, I came out from behind the safety of the counter to bring Erwin’s drink to him. He looked out the window, he seemed to be gazing at the bleak clouds, lost in thought.

“One hot caramel macchiato.” I announced quietly, pulling him out of his thought.

Erwin glanced down at the mug and then up at me. “Oh, thank you, you didn’t have to bring it to me.”

“It’s not a problem, the café is pretty dead anyway… you seemed so lost in thought too.”

He huffed a laugh out of his nose and wrapped his hands around the mug, pulling his gaze down to his hands. “This mug looks a lot like your eyes, Levi.”

“I-uh, thanks?” There it was, that stupid butterfly feeling again. He was turning me into a wet noodle.

“Sorry, that probably sounds really weird coming from someone you met a few days ago. It’s a compliment though, you have such spirited eyes. Thank you for bringing me my drink, I should let you get back to work before you get in trouble.” Erwin’s gaze never left his hands, but I could see red dusting his cheeks. I turned to walk back, “Uh, Levi?”

“Yes?”

“Before you go, I have kind of a stupid question… Mike was talking to me about you, well about how smart you are. And uh, I was wondering if you could, I don’t know, tutor me?”

That caught me off guard. Mike was really talking about me… but earlier, that was definitely a dream. Tutor? Me? Yea, sure, I was smart, but I was a total asshole. Why would Erwin really want my help, when all I was going to do was insult his idiocy? I tried to help Mike once, but he called me, and I quote, a “raging dick”.

“Sure, I guess. I don’t really see why not.” And I didn’t, there was no reason for me to protest. “I get off in 10 min if you’re up to it today.”

Erwin looked back up at me, his eyes shined bright and hopeful. I felt like I had just handed a child a piece of candy. “That would be wonderful, thank you so much.” Gah, he was going to kill me if he was any politer.

I felt like I practically ran into the back room, though I know I had calmly walked away. My nerves were on fire, my stomach felt so fluttery, and all my limbs were wet noodles. I leaned my forehead against the fridge and sighed loudly, resisting the urge to punch it. Hanji wouldn’t forgive me if I left a dent in the door. Jean loudly dropped a dish into the sink, announcing his presence behind me. “So, tell me, who’s the tall, blonde, and gorgeous that’s making googly eyes at you?” A smirk was carved into his face. Ugh, this kid got on my nerves so much. Sophomores can be the fucking worst, or maybe it was just him.

“That’s not really any of your concern.” I replied sternly.

“Wow, you’re no fun.” Jean rolled his eyes and went back out to the bar, stopping in the doorway. “Hanji says it’s time for you to leave.”

I grabbed my hoodie out of the backroom, slipped it on, and headed towards the front. Was I walking too fast? Did I seem too eager? _No, you fucking walnut. You’re just helping him with homework, chill out._ Yelling at myself in my head didn’t help my quickening heartbeat. Erwin still seemed lost in thought, staring up at the sky again. It was hopelessly bleak outside, I don’t really know what he found so interesting. “Hey…” I said quietly, trying to draw his attention to me. “Are you ready to head out?” Erwin smiled up at me before nodding and rising to his feet. Fuck he was tall, he had a good foot on me.

“Did you drive here?”

“No, I don’t have a car, that’s why I ride with Mike.”

“Well, I drove. I need to stop by my house to grab my school bag.”

“Thanks… uh, we can do this at my house. My mom works a lot and I’m an only child, so it’s always quiet. But all of my school shit is there too… if that’s okay.”

“That works perfectly, my mom babysits, and while they’re cute, they always want to play.” He laughed, and I imagined little kids running around at his feet, begging for piggy back rides.

Erwin walked me out to his car, the rain had died down from drowning people in the streets to a light mist, but the air was still bitter. I quickly slipped into the passenger’s seat, sticking my ice-cold fingers under my arms. We didn’t talk to whole ride to his house, I watched the houses and cars go by out the window, forgetting I was in his car. Alone. Going to _his_ house. The realization didn’t hit me until we pulled into the driveway and he shut the engine off. His deep voice breaking that cold silence between us. “You’re more than welcome to come in, it’s going to take me a few minutes to get my bag together and it’s pretty cold out here.” I just nodded and followed him up in the concrete walkway and into the house. I followed closely behind him with a small fear I’d get lost or be left behind, nonsense really. It was warm inside along with a soft smell of cinnamon and vanilla.

“Erwin!” A small girl screamed, her black hair bouncy as she ran up to him. Erwin squatted down, scooping her up into his arms. She was so small compared his large arms, he’d give quite the bear hug. “Erwin, I missed you so so so much.”

“And I missed you so so so much more Mikasa. Where’s your little boyfriend?”

“Eren is not my boyfriend!” Mikasa slapped his arm with all the tiny might she had, but I knew it felt like a soft pat to Erwin. She turned is his arms, her small round eyes finding me so fast. I awkwardly stood in front of the door, my face probably looked pissed off. “Is this your boyfriend?”

“No!” I shouted. “I mean, no, I’m helping him with schoolwork.” I said a little quieter, hoping I didn’t upset her.

“Oh, okay…” Mikasa almost looked disappointed. “Erwin put me down, please. I’m gonna go ask Momma Smith for some juice.” Erwin complied and gently left her down, she took off as soon as her tiny feet hit the ground.

“She’s… adorable.” I said.

“Yea, she’s the cutest… sorry about that, she’s never said something like that.” Erwin rubbed the back of his head, obviously embarrassed.

“Not a big deal, kids don’t have filters.”

“You’re right there, I can’t imagine what Mike and I sounded like when we were kids.” We both laughed loudly, Mike was an obnoxious kid now, almost being an adult, being a kid probably was a hell of a lot worse. “Give me a second so I can grab my back, then we can head out of here before the rest of the kids know I’m here.”

I was left standing by the front door for less than a minute before we hurriedly shoved ourselves into his car and took off for my place. This time we spoke, but only when I was telling him to turn. He didn’t live too far from it, it was about a five-minute drive. Erwin pulled into my driveway and I already expected no one to be home. House to myself… again. This time he followed me to the door, I felt like he almost hovered above me.

I shut the door behind us and kicked my shoes off. “All of my school shit is in my bedroom upstairs, so we can just set up in there.” Erwin just nodded at me, his cheeks were bright red from being whipped by the wind outside. It was cute.

We quietly climbed the stairs, small thuds bombing through the quiet house. I walked into my bedroom without glancing back and went straight over to my desk. I had quite a large bedroom, being an only had some perks. The walls were painted a light grey color and all of my bookshelves were black, on one side had my full bed pushed into the corner and on the other held my two bookshelves and my desk set between them. My socked feet slid silently over the hardwood flooring. I opened up my laptop to get it to turn on and finally turned around to see if Erwin was still standing silently behind me. But he wasn’t, he stopped a foot or so within my door, eyes wandering all around my room. I barely had any decorations but a few pictures hanging up and white stringed lights draped around the edges of the ceiling. Erwin hesitantly walked further into my room, walking over to some of the pictures. I saw a small smile as he looked at the pictures of Mike and I from Halloween.

“I remember this… Aunt Z dressed Mike as an army soldier. Levi, you ended up being like a corporal or something, right?” I moved to join him, looking at the picture of a group of kids covered in paint but smiles everywhere. “I wanted to be a commander, so when we went trick-or-treating we all matched. A tiny army on the move!”

“I didn’t know you were there…” I said, trying to remember what Mike said a few days ago. _Erwin moved **back** here with his mom. _ Fuck, that was right. “When did you move away?”

“I think at the end of that school year. So, ugh, how old are you in first grade?”

“Seven.”

“Yea, so when we were all about seven and I’ve been gone for almost ten years.” Erwin raised his hand to point at the tall blonde boy hanging on Mike. “That’s me, I can’t believe you don’t remember this!” He shook his head and patted me on the shoulder, “so, hmm, what should we start working on?”

“What’s your worst subject?”

“Math.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are always welcome! I love being able to talk to you guys!!!   
> Also, someones username is 'beefcube' and I'm so happy rn.   
>  
> 
> I'm always active on social media!
> 
> Instagram @atomicalpaca  
> Tumblr @atomicalpaca  
> Snapchat @sonixbitches


	3. Chapter 3

ERWINS POV

After going over the definition of matrices a million times because for some reason my brain wouldn’t click. Levi had let us set up on his bed, sprawling papers and books all across the black comforter. It was quite the contrast. I felt almost invasive coming into _his_ bedroom and laying all of _my_ things around. But either way I was very grateful for his help, I was coming into a desperate situation. If I wasn’t passing all my classes with at least a 3.0 GPA then I was going to be benched. Both Mike and my mom would chew my ass out if I got kicked off the baseball team.

“Erwin… Erwin!” Levi snapped his fingers in front of my face, his tone less than amused. “Ugh, are you ready for a break, commander eyebrows?” He gave me a half smile before taking his fingers and rubbing the bridge of his nose. Levi was right though, we’ve been working on this for about two hours. I could feel my legs falling asleep and my hands were sore from writing problem after problem.

“Yea, I think I need to step away from this for a bit.” I looked down at my notes and had no idea what I had been writing for the past five minutes. It was like I was writing in Latin. “Wait-what did you just call me?” It took me a solid minute to realize what he said, damn my brain was fried.

Levi had already gotten up from his bed and was walking out into the hallway. Without turning around, stopped in the doorway. “I called you, _commander eyebrows_.”

“Oh… thanks… corporal short shit.” I was still pretty fast at smart ass replies, but had I crossed a line? Everyone was short compared to me, but Levi sat on a whole other level.

Levi still stood statute like in the doorway, facing away from me. He slowly turned just his head and eyed me from over his shoulder. “Nice one.” He said before briskly walking away and down the hallway where I lost sight of him. _Nice one?_ What was that supposed to mean? Why did he always sound pissed off? I’m over thinking this. I decided I needed to get up and stretch myself, I had no idea where Levi went off to, probably the bathroom. Swallowing hard I realized how dry my throat was, ugh a glass of water couldn’t hurt. Wandering out of the bedroom I made my way back down the stairs. They creaked under my weight, echoing again through the quiet house. Well… almost quiet.

As I made my way to the bottom I heard a soft clink of glass and water running, like someone was doing dishes. _I thought no one else was home._ I didn’t think Levi had gone downstairs. Slowly I walked into the kitchen half-expecting Levi, but I was greeted by a woman with long black hair. She hummed quietly to herself washing dishes, oblivious to my interruption. “Hello,” I announced quietly.

She jumped a little, dropping the plastic cup she had in her hands back into the soapy water. “Oh, hello…” She turned to look at me and her eyes matched Levi’s. A light swirling grey with veins of brown and blue and the strick black hair to match. “Hmm, tall, blonde… definitely not Mike.” Her face lit up with such a bright smile, she wiped her hands off on a towel and briskly walked over to me. She put a hand on both of my forearms, “goodness gracious, you must be Erwin! Baby boy you’ve grown so much! Gosh, I bet you don’t even remember me.”

“I’m afraid not ma’am.” I responded politely as I could.

“You were so young when I last saw you, I barely remember you myself. I just remember Mike raving about you coming back home last week. Well seeing as you’re probably hanging with Levi, I’m his mother. But you can call me Kuchel if you’d like, but I get called ‘ma’am’ at work so often… such a polite young man you’ve become.” Kuchel smiled at up at me once more before returning to the dishes. “Did you need something?” She asked quietly.

“I just came down for a glass of water.” Kuchel nodded silently, humming to herself again. She reached for a dry towel and one of the glasses she had sitting in the drying rack. Once it was dry she handed it to me and pointed towards the fridge.

“There’s a cold pitcher in there, help yourself.” I moved quietly around the kitchen, careful to not disturb her chore further. Soon I found myself returning to Levi’s room, I tried to make my way into his doorway but ended up smacking into in. Built like the brick wall I am, Levi had hit me, stepped back, and about lost his footing. I reached out and caught his hands with my own, trying to save him from toppling backwards onto the floor but we both fell instead.

“Levi, hunny, you okay?” Kuchel questioned loudly from downstairs.

“Yea, mom, I’m fine. Just tripped!” Levi yelled back.

“Alright, I have to go in, so I won’t be back until tomorrow morning, I’ll make breakfast! Love you, bye baby.”

“Love you too mom. Bye!”

I laughed softly. “We have to stop meeting like this.” Levi stared up at me and blinked, he seemed dazed.

“If you weren’t such a fucking freight train like Mike, I wouldn’t have been in this situation…” He smirked at me, steel grey slicing right through me. I was so close to him. I could smell the shampoo he used, he smelled like pine, and feel how hot his body was, my thigh tucked between his. Fuck, this was definitely not the time to be getting a boner. _Kiss him._ My eyes widened at the thought. Levi’s look so soft and I wanted to feel them with my own. _Now or never doofus, I doubt you’ll ever be on top of him again._ Without another thought I brought our faces closer together. My mouth swallowing the small gasp that escaped his lips. Levi cooed under me, his long, thin fingers twisting in my hair, pulling me closer. I thought I was in control, initiating the kiss in the first place, but Levi, with my hair in his hands, was guiding my face so he could kiss me deeper. Opening his mouth to lick my lips, I took the sign and opened my own. Our tongues exploring frantically. I let my body relax more, the top of my thigh pressing more firmly and sliding until I nudged gently against his crotch. Levi jumped like he was struck by a bolt of lightning and whined, his knee pushing me closer from behind. I leaned onto my left forearm, taking my right hand and grazing over his chest. Gently circling my thumb on his nipple. Levi’s hands gripped harder in my hair, the pulling sending shivers down my spine. A soft moan escaping my chest. I moved further, taking my hand from his chest and laying it on his hip. My thumb pushing the hem of his t-shirt up, feeling his hot skin beneath my touch. I ached to touch him more, to hear him cry by my hands.

He jerked when I my entire hand was on his waist and pushed my face back, “fucking Christ, your hands are ice cold.” Levi slid on his floor, pulling my hand out from under his shirt. His face was beat read and his lips were swollen, I bit my tongue, laughter begged to rise from my chest as I witnessed the massive bed head he had now. I couldn’t imagine what I looked like now that Levi’s fingers were no longer weaving through my already messy hair.

LEVIS POV

I don’t think I’ve ever felt my body ache so much for someone’s touch. The heat from his body on mine was overwhelming, but I soaked every bit of it up. I pulled my legs up, trying to hide myself, but I only pulled Erwin closer to me. His thigh gently pushing on me. Strong. Hot. It was enough to drive me just a little more crazy. My head was swimming with so many feelings and begged more and more for him to touch me. I tried to drown out the urge to grind against his leg, just because I am a virgin does not mean I need to act like it. I didn’t want Erwin to know how out of control I felt right now. I kept my fingers tangled in his hair until I felt an icy touch against my side. “Fucking Christ, your hands are ice cold.” I slid back on my floor, pulling his ice hand off of me.

Erwin’s face was flushed, his blonde hair that was already a mess seemed to have only gotten worse. Almost a clear definition of “sex hair”.  I watched his chest rise and fall for a good minute until I felt my heart beat slow. My body still burned and tingled, and my very apparent boner still had other plans. I pulled my knees close, trying to hide it. Though I’m sure Erwin already knew from the noises I was making. Same with him though, is he a virgin or just that easy to please? Maybe it’s me? Doubt it. This all seemed to be a big mess. What was I supposed to say now? Both sitting on my bedroom floor, faces red as can be, heart rate blazing, and bodies begging for some sort of release. “ _Thanks, this was weird, you can go home now.”_ Or I could just stare at him until he did something. That seemed better than awkwardly shooing him out of my house.

  “Sorry, I got ice water when you left. Must’ve been really cold…” Erwin broke the silence. Thank god. He chuckled softly. “I’m sorry, your hair is a complete mess.”

 “You’re one to talk!” Erwin looked up, as if he could eye all the stray hairs out of place. I started laughing and reached out to help. I swung my legs underneath me and stood on my knees while Erwin now sat cross-legged in front of me. “You’re basically a giant child.” He sat silently as I ran my fingers through his messy hair. Which was basically my fault, I didn’t know it could get any worse than it was earlier. Taking responsibility for the mess was only fair. “Erwin…?” I asked quietly.

“Yea?”

 “I-uh, why…” I swallowed hard, “why did you kiss me?”

 He didn’t hesitate to answer me. “I like you Levi.”

“Oh.” I sat back on my feet, my hands falling to his shoulders.

“I know that sounds crazy, but I’ve liked you for a while. Since we were kids.”

 “What do you mean since we were kids? I barely remember you.” I shook my head, staring beyond him.

“I know, I know. Uh, I was around a lot when your Uncle Kenny was still around.” Erwin’s voice was quiet, almost scared to mention his name. 

My arms dropped into my lap and my head fell as well. I didn’t remember a lot of my childhood because of that man. I didn’t want to remember. Good-for-nothing Uncle Kenny. Before my mother had gotten the job at the hospital, she did other work. Random small jobs that would keep her away, she pulled me aside one day before taking off and told me my Uncle Kenny was going to stay with me so I wouldn’t be alone. I protested, trying to defend myself as being a “big boy” but she wasn’t having it. I never met the man before the day he walked through the door, but I knew he was bad from the start. He basically raised me to be a thug and disappeared without notice. I came into school with bruises under my clothes, Kenny tried to teach me by posing as a real threat. From what I could still remember, I avoided going home until one day he just left and never came back. I spent time as Mike’s…

“Mike… I was always with Mike. You were with Mike too Erwin, weren’t you?”

“Mhmm.”

“I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“I don’t remember you.”

“We were kids, don’t worry about it. Plus, Mike and I were basically twins when we were younger until he out grew me. Our own mothers couldn’t tell us apart sometimes.” Erwin laid a large hand on my shoulder, rubbing soft circles by my collar bone. Could there be pieces I remember that were actually Erwin? “I think that’s enough tutoring for today.” He spoke softly but he seemed almost sad. I continued to stare into my lap, hearing Erwin rustle and grunt until he was on his feet again. Did I want to be alone? With all these thoughts of Kenny coming back to my mind I felt like a child again. I felt like I had to run away but I didn’t want to go to Mike. He was probably with Nanaba and I didn’t want to ruin that. Mike is my best friend in the whole world and I could come to him about anything, even if he was with Nanaba. We were basically brothers. Coming to him now with Kenny on my mind would raise questions and I wasn’t about to explain to him what just happened. _“Oh, hey Mike, by the way, I about fucked your cousin.”_ I would be bombarded with stupid questions from him and I doubt he would let it down. I reached out and grabbed Erwin’s pantleg.

“Erwin… don’t go.” Fuck. Now I really was acting like a child. “Please.”

“Okay, then I won’t go.” Erwin looked down at me, that soft smile entrancing me and making my chest feel warm. His ice blue eyes filled with concern. “Did you want to order some pizza and watch a movie?” I nodded softly, taking his hand that he offered me, rising to my feet. We both stayed silent as we wandered down the stairs and into my living room, I parked myself on the couch. The overstuffed cushions welcoming my small frame. Erwin sat down with me but not next to me. He made an obvious space between us. I looked bleakly at him, he eyes focused on his cell phone. Quietly I scooted over until our thighs bumped into each other, blood rising to my cheeks. “Down for pepperoni?”

“Yea, that’s my favorite.”

“Mine too.” I saw a smile rise on his face, deep dimples imprinting on both his cheeks. It was cute. It made his tough, muscular appearance seem soft. “It’ll take about 30 minutes, what do you want to watch?”

“Stand-up comedy?” I really wanted to hear his laugh, that deep and rich voice of his filled with joy made my stomach flutter.

“Perfect.” He replied and looked down at me, that smile was almost blinding. Dammit, this boy made my whole mood better just like that. Cheesy bastard. A smile and a kind gesture was everything I needed from him to help me get back to reality when I felt like drowning. Erwin was lost within my memories but here and now, I felt like I’ve known him forever.

The pizza came in time and we sat and munched silently with the occasional laughing and trying not to choke on the stringy cheese. After the show was over, I opted to just turn on whatever cheesy romance happened to be airing on tv. Being stuffed made me sleepy so I wasn’t even planning on following the awful romance plot. I leaned back into the couch, pulling my feet up and hugging my knees into my chest. Staring at the back of Erwin’s head I tried to think, I tried to think about when we were kids. Sadly it failed, I only seemed to get lost in thoughts of Kenny. How much bigger he was than me, how loud his voice was when he yelled, how much it hurt every single time his fist made contact with my body.

“Levi.” Erwin’s soft voice pulled me out of my trance. He draped an arm around my shoulders and pulled me into his chest. Warm tears rolled slowly down my cheeks and onto his t-shirt, leaving dark wet marks. “He’s gone. He’s not coming back. Mike and I won’t let him come back.” He tilted my chin up until my teary eyes met his. He took a thumb and swiped gently at my cheeks. I refused to look away, even as my lips started to tremble, and my shoulder began to heave with sobs, unwilling to back down. My dark lashes brimming with heavy tears; my fingers digging into my arms. I let another tear fall and it was like I opened fold gates. I wept heavily, tears streaming from my dark grey eyes. They resembled the overcast I felt. Erwin pulled me closer into him, his head resting on mine. Loud, heavy sobs tore out of my throat and echoed against his solid chest. There was a rawness to the emotion, like an open wound that never healed. That I never had the chance to show except behind closed doors. I’ve never let someone see how weak I felt. He made soft shooshing sounds, one hand rubbing up and down my back, the other gently holding the back of my head.

I teased him for being an overgrown child but look at me now. I cried like a toddler and begged for comfort. This wasn’t me, or this wasn’t the front I put up for everyone to see. Truly I knew I wasn’t a grumpy boy with the attitude of an old man, but that was what I was taught, ‘don’t let someone see how easily they can get to you’.

Erwin laid a soft kiss on my forehead and I whimpered. “I won’t let him hurt you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys keep me writing, this chapter was a whirlwind and came a few days later than I planned. BUT HEY I DID IT.
> 
> I'm always active on social media!
> 
> Instagram @atomicalpaca  
> Tumblr @atomicalpaca  
> Snapchat @sonixbitches


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to be a real cheesy bitch for a second, but there are times where I just feel like poop and don't want to do anything. Then I think about the wonderful things I hear from people who have read this and it just touches my heart. I'm going to continue writing this for awhile and I can't thank you guys enough for sticking around!

I didn’t notice my eyelids dropping. I didn’t notice the living room grow darker, only to be lit by the tv, the sound now muted. I definitely didn’t notice the blanket wrapped around me as I nodded off on the couch. Erwin had swung my legs across his lap and let me bury my face against his chest. The slow rise and fall of his chest, the soft thump of his heart, and the warmth he seemed to radiate made me feel safe. As if I was in my own bubble, where nothing could be bothered. My body screamed for sleep and I tried to fight it off as best I could, but I had no chance. Many hours had passed before I could open my eyes again, still feeling groggy. I yawned and stretched my legs, pointing my toes and cracking both ankles. I rubbed my balled fists against my eyes, as if that would help me wake up.

Erwin didn’t even notice me rustling around. His head was casually resting on the back of the couch, he barely made a dent in the overstuffed cushion. Even asleep, he still looked gorgeous. Almost untouchable. I let my head rest against his shoulder and continued to admire him, listening to his slow breaths. His phone vibrated, still in his hand. I huffed a laugh through my nose and gently removed his hold from it. The clock read “2:23 AM”, _holy shit._ I remember looking at the clock before I fell asleep and it was only 11 PM. I can’t believe I was that tired, I was quite the insomniac usually.

Erwin groaned, titling his head back and forth. Popping his neck both ways. “Fuck.” He took a deep breath and groaned the whole time he let it out.  “What time is it?”

“About 2:30 AM.”

“Fuck.” He let his head hang, blinking slowly. “Can I have my phone?” I nodded and placed it back in his hand. “Oh god, my mom texted me. I hope she’s not mad… _‘Mike told me you were staying over, love you XOXO!’”_

“Thanks for the save Mike.” I sputtered out. “We’ll have to thank him later.” Erwin didn’t seem to be listening anymore, he shut his eyes again and nodded softly. I tossed the blanket off of us and stood, grabbing both of Erwin’s hands. “Alright, you giant child, how about you sleep in a real bed?” He groaned again, helping me pull him off of my couch. I led him back up the stairs and into my room. I thanked my mother again for making me an only child and letting me have a queen bed. There’s no way that Erwin would even fit on a twin bed _by himself._ I got him underneath my blanket and he looked so peaceful again. It was such a foreign feeling seeing someone else in my bed… but I didn’t mind it. I wonder if my mother felt like this when she would tuck me in. It made my heart warm and my stomach flutter.

I wasn’t going to let Erwin sleep on the couch, that was kind of rude. After feeling that he was safe and comfortable, I turned to walk back downstairs and plunge myself into the soft cushions. My face felt heavy and stiff and I wanted nothing more than to shut my eyes and sleep for hours.

“Levi?” Erwin called out, he had sat up and was rubbing his eyes.

“You okay?” I asked, one foot out the door.

“Yea, I’m fine… you can lay down with me. It’s not like I’m going to do anything.”

I hesitated and my breath in my throat. I trusted what he said, I didn’t have any reason not to. Erwin has been nothing but kind to me the entire day, and even before that. Was it weird though? I had come to the fact that I knew I had a crush on him, I mean, we did have a pretty heated make-out session on my floor earlier. Did that justify sleeping in the same bed? It didn’t change anything about us, so why did I have to think about it so hard?

“Okay,” I said quietly and slowly walking over to the other side of the bed. The familiar feel and smell of my sheets pulled me right in. I pulled the comforter up and under my chin, curling up on my side, leaving my back to face Erwin. “Goodnight…”

“Goodnight Levi.”

“Hey Erwin…”

 “Yea?”

“I like you…” There was a moment of quiet before I heard Erwin rustled in the bed and suddenly a warm arm wrapped around me.

“That’s gay.” I elbowed him, “ow, I’m kidding… I like you too.”

I closed my eyes and sighed, letting my body fall into the dark abyss. My body felt so heavy and it was like the bed swallowed me up greedily. Once my bed relinquished its hold on me the sun was happily shining on my face. I could smell a faint scent of bacon.

  Mom.

Mom was home! She was making breakfast. Groaning, I rolled over, stretching out across my bed. The sheets were so warm. I had almost forgotten Erwin had fallen asleep next to me, but how did I not kick him? My eyes burst open to find that there was no one in my bed or in my room. Had Erwin left already? He didn’t say bye. It actually made me a little sad. Ugh, whatever. I forced myself out from under the warmth of my blanket because breakfast awaited me downstairs.

I padded softly downstairs and heard my mother singing. “Quand il me prand dans ses bras, il me parle tout bas, je vois la vie en rose.” Her voice was soft but so powerful, she sings every time she’s in the kitchen and she’d try to teach me all of the words. I don’t speak French and I tried to learn over and over, but she gave me a rough translation, ‘ _When he takes me in his arms, speaks softly to me, I see the world through rose colored glasses’_. I know my mother didn’t write the song, but I liked to think it was about my father, she never spoke of him.

“Salut mama.”

 “Salut mon bébé chéri garcon,” (Hello my darling baby boy) she walked quickly across the kitchen and grabbed my face, placing soft kisses on my cheeks.

“Mom stop, I’m 18.”

“That doesn’t mean I can’t show my baby boy some love, you’ll…”

“Always be my baby,” we said in unison. She smiled and ruffled my hair, walking back to the stove. “I made some waffles and bacon if you’re up to it… Erwin made himself a plate already so help yourself, I made plenty.” Erwin was here still? I don’t know how I had walked right passed him when he was sitting at the table behind me. I whipped around to see him putting a dripping piece into his mouth while staring at his phone. “He even helped me. Such a gentleman, ah!”

“I barely did anything Kuchel.” Erwin shot her that award-winning smile. I thought for a moment that I would literally melt. Can he stop being so gorgeous? My mother ignored him and went back to cleaning around the house, leaving me and Erwin alone at the table, happily scarfing down food. “Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed… with you.”

I choked on my food, “it’s not a big deal…” I could see all the blood rush to his cheeks. Fucking dork.

“Hey Levi, have you ever just looked at the sky and thought about how you’re looking into basically infinite nothingness where there is no apparent end and if gravity were to stop working, you would just float and float and probably never stop because physics is an illusion?”

“No… but now I have a new irrational fear of gravity.”

We stared at each other without blinking for a good minute. “Oh good, because Mikasa asked me that the other day and I… I didn’t know how to respond.”

I lost it first, trying my hardest to stifle my laughter but hopelessly losing it when I opened my mouth. We ate the rest of our food, stopping to laugh about every five minutes even though we thought it was finally over. I gathered up our sticky plates and set them in the dishwater. Erwin followed slowly behind me, still stifling laughter. I don’t know if I could ever get sick of his laugh. It was rich and deep, it broke the stigma to his hard and tough exterior.

“I don’t want to be a party pooper, but I really should be getting home. We’re lucky Mike covered for us and I’m ready to get an earful from him, but I’d like to take a shower and visit with my mom… are you going to the game Friday? It’s an away game.”

Me? Come to the game for him?  “Why?” I don’t know why I let myself ask that.

Erwin opened his mouth to explain, “So I could see you again.”

That’s right it was Sunday, tomorrow we’d be back at school. “Oh… sure.” I swear Erwin tried to hide his smile from me. He gave me a quick hug before grabbing his bag and returning home.

***

  What the fuck have I gotten myself into? I reunited with a friend who I had completely forgotten. The guilt from that would probably haunt me forever. I have hopelessly fallen for him in this whole mess as well. I felt like I was going to throw up.

 I probably put in my locker combination five different times before I got it right. I sighed heavily and pulled the door open, I wanted to stick my nose in a book and forget any of this ever happened. Sure, Erwin said he liked me, he’s been so overly sweet to me. But what were his intentions? Was somebody putting him up to this? Was he going to vanish just like my uncle? I could ask… but then would I be too needy? “Fuck.” I mumbled to myself, letting my shoulders lean against my locker and my head fall.

“Am I interrupting something?”

Mike.

He hadn’t called or texted or even mentioned covering for Erwin over the weekend, how much did he really know?

“I swear to God, Mike. I will not hesitate to snap your neck like a marine.” I pulled my head out of the locker and shot him a death glare. If looks could kill, he’d already be dead.

Mike put his hands up in surrender, he was already dressed in his uniform, ready for warm-ups and the game. Fuck, that stupid game. I went through the entire day without thinking about it. I had told Erwin that I’d come to the game today. I need a bathroom, I really was going to throw up this time. Mike wouldn’t think anything of it, I always came to his games, and now Nanaba tagged along too.

“Going to come cheer me on baby?”

 You’d think after spending almost my entire life with Mike that I get used to the stupid shit he says.

“Of course, my love, I wouldn’t have it any other way. Should I put on a Nana’s cheerleading outfit for you?”

“I walked in at the wrong time.” Nanaba walked up behind Mike, slipping under his arm and giving him a quick peck on the cheek. “Though Levi, I don’t think yellow and purple are your colors.” She winked at me. Looping her arm with mine she started to drag me towards the doors. “We’ll be cheering for you babe! See you in the bleachers!” I would be thanking her later for getting me the hell away from him. I kept thinking that he knew, that somehow, he knew. As if he could read my mind.

Nanaba dragged me until we were firmly seated in Mike’s truck. We drove separately from the baseball team, we always went out to dinner after away games and then we could drive home without having to wait for the rest of the team and the tag-along students. I let her drive. I knew how to drive stick but, well, to sell it short… I suck. The engine roared to life in her hands and we sat in silence until we got on the highway. I was determined to drown myself in the pages of my book while I furiously stared at the words on the page, none of them registering in my brain.

“You’ve been staring at the same page for about ten minutes, I know you’re not a slow reader.” Nanaba piped up, breaking the harsh silence.

I shut my book slowly and rubbed the bridge of my nose. “Just… tired. It’s not a big deal, don’t worry about, Nana.” She reached over and placed her hand on my knee, giving me a light squeeze. She was definitely the mom of our little trio, she knew something was wrong, but she wouldn’t pry into my business if I wasn’t going to bring it up myself. I gave her a small smile, “thank you.”

I stared out the window and watched everything fly by until we got to the field. We took our usual seats right up front by the batter warm up. Nanaba and Mike would always flirt through the fence when Mike was ‘on-deck’, it was romantically disgusting. Even after a year of dating they were still mushy and cheesy with each other. Ew.

Both teams were out on the field doing quick warm ups before the game. Maybe yellow and purple wasn’t my color, but damn did it look good on Erwin. Or maybe it was the tight white pants that seemed to hug his ass just right. I hoped he couldn’t feel me staring because _holy shit_ I couldn’t pry my eyes off him. I bit the inside of my cheek trying to keep my thoughts under control. The coaches blew their whistles, calling the teams back to the dug-outs, the game was about to begin! My eyes continued to follow Erwin as he jogged up. His eyes were wandering, scanning the crowd. Was he looking for me? Sure fucking was because the instant he locked eyes with me, his face turned a beautiful crimson and he had a stupid smile plastered on his face.

“Kick some ass,” I said.

“With you here I will,” he winked at me before disappearing into the dug-out.

Wow, who gave him a confidence boost? Maybe he knew how much I loved him in that uniform. The home team was up to bat first, so our team flooded the field. Mike took his spot at second, waving to Nanaba and me. I still kept my eyes on Erwin, Mike had told me he was joining the team but never told me what position. He was one of the last players on the field, walking right towards the center and taking his place on the pitcher’s mound. I honestly thought he would play outfield with arms like that, he must be able to throw all the way to home from way out there.

First batter was up, before I even knew it the ref called out, “strike one.” Wait, strike one? Already! I didn’t even see the ball leave Erwin’s hand. The catcher threw the ball back and shook his mitted hand. Ouch. Every ball Erwin threw was a strike, until he struck out three batters in a row. Well I’ll be damned. I was impressed and extremely giddy.

Our team marched off the field happily, giving Erwin pats on his shoulder. I wanted to be there with them, telling him how amazing he was. But I stayed parked in my seat, watching his every move. He walked up to the fence again, right in front of me. He only lingered for a moment before he gave me a sly smirk, “guess you’re my good luck charm.”

“Whatever,” I retorted. Nanaba elbowed me and gave me a scolding look.

“Be nice old man,” she mumbled under her breath, scolding me. Once all the players had returned into the dug-out Nanaba turned to face me. “So, tell me, are you two flirting?”

“No, don’t be crazy.” I refused to look at her.

“Uh-huh sure,” the amount of sarcasm she was using was ridiculous. “If you’re not flirting… then why are you blushing?” One of my hands shot up to my face, trying to cover my cheeks. I didn’t realize I was blushing. “I knew it! You can’t hide shit from me!”

“Fine. Fine. Please don’t tell Mike…”

“I won’t, but why?”

“I don’t know. It’s his cousin, it’d just be really weird.”

“That’s not why. Does this have something do with why you were so upset in the car? What did he do to you? I’ll cut his dick off for you.”

I grabbed her balled fists, “no! He didn’t do anything wrong! I’m just worried.”

“About?”

 “Ugh, I don’t know. I’ve never been in a relationship and what if he doesn’t want to be my boyfriend? What if he just wants sex? I’ve never thought about anal. What if I’m too inexperienced for him?”

Nanaba put a finger to my lips, stopping my nervous ‘what ifs?’. “Stop that, if you’re so worried about those things, why don’t you just ask him?”

"I’m sorry, ask him? That’s easier said than done.”

“Then fucking do it, you’re not the only one who has these thoughts, Levi. Did you ever stop to think if Erwin was thinking the same thing? Just get it over with.”

No, I hadn’t. I’d been so caught up in myself, I never stopped to think if Erwin had anything to worry about. He seemed so strong and resilient. But Nanaba was right, I had to talk to him at some point. I couldn’t avoid this forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I cut the chapter off here because I already started writing chapter 5! AHHH I'M SO EXCITED GUYS. Next chapter get ready for some smut. I've had this part of the chapter written up since I wrote chapter 1. It was like a little present.
> 
> Also I speak quite a few languages! French is meh for me, but I'm happy I could tie it into this.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHHHH I'm SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG! I'm almost finished with fall semester so this took me longer than I expected buuuttt it's the longest chapter so far, I saved a special part for you guys.

 

The game ended, the sun starting to set on the tops of the trees. My stomach grumbled, ready for whatever greasy food Mike had his heart set on. Our team had won which was going to put everyone in a good mood. I didn’t want to ruin it with my sappy bullshit. I knew I had to talk to Erwin, but that could wait until we were done celebrating. The coach still had the team in the dug-out, giving them the final talk and time for next practice. Mike wasn’t paying attention at all though, he kept blowing kisses at Nanaba, in which she giggled loudly each time.

“You guys are disgusting,” I complained, making a gagging noise.

“Just you wait, Erwin will be doing the same thing.”

I highly doubted that, I think the mushy stuff what just them honestly. I’ve never seen anyone else act this… this gross. I could do without all of it. I knew the talk was over when Mike came running around the fence and swooped Nanaba into his arms, drowning her in kisses. That awful butterfly feeling made its way back into my stomach when I saw Erwin slowly make his way over to us. Both he and Mike had slid in the dirt today, so they were dusty and sweaty, in definite need of a hot shower. He stopped next to Mike, giving him a firm pat on the shoulder.

“Are you going to come to dinner with us Erwin?”

“Sure, that sounds awesome. I’m starving, where are we going?”

“I was thinking Pizza King man, I want those breadsticks they have, with the stringy cheese. Yum!”

“Sounds good to me, I’ll meet you at the truck.” He slipped his ball cap off, revealing all of the sweat stricken hairs. I could probably offer to get him a bottle of water or anything. I was too star struck to move or speak. “I don’t know if you’ll let me hug you when I’m this dirty,” Erwin held his arms open waiting for me to make a move.

A range of emotions crossed my mind at once. I wanted to hug him because well damn, who wouldn’t? But he was extremely dirty. Was it really worth it? Only one way to find out. _Fuck, this is probably going to be a mistake._ I stepped forward, letting my hands graze along his side and then rest on the small of his back. Erwin wrapped his arms around the back of my shoulders, giving me a tight squeeze. Enough to pop my shoulders. I snorted, “thanks.” I heard him huff a laugh before resting his chin on top of my head.

“Thank you for coming to the game.” Erwin spoke softly, but the genuineness of his voice touched my heart.

“You did amazing, I’m glad I didn’t miss it.” My stomach grumbled, “I think we should head to the truck.”

“Yea, probably,” he let his arms fall back to his sides. I started off first, knowing where we had parked the car. I had only taken a few steps before Erwin reached out and grabbed my hand, stopping my stride. He pulled me close to him again, and pulled me into the dug-out, away from prying eyes, and pushing me up against the smooth concrete wall. The concrete was cold against my back and ran a chill up my spine. He cupped my jaw, and kissed me. Slow and soft. Unlike before on my bedroom floor. This kiss was filled with raw emotion, it wasn’t lustful and hungry. It didn’t make my heart ache or twist in a knot, instead I felt warm and fluttery. I wanted to stay like this forever. I wanted this moment to last longer than he intended, I wanted to keep this feeling with me.

I wrapped my hands around his neck, pulling him farther down so I could kiss him back. I felt like I needed a stool to reach him so he wouldn’t have to practically bend in half to kiss me.  We stayed like that for a few moments, relishing in each other’s warmth. Erwin broke first, laying a soft kiss to my forehead. “Erwin, are you doing anything tonight?” I asked shyly.

“Besides dinner with you, Mike, and Nanaba. No. Why?” He titled his head slightly with curiosity. His gaze was making it hard to think straight.

“Come over to my house.” It wasn’t a question if he wanted to, it was a demand. No room to say no, I wanted to talk to him, get all these messy thoughts out of my head.

“Okay, just means more time to spend with you,” Erwin smiled at me. Fucker. I gave him a light punch on the arm. “Come on, before Mike dies of hunger.” I nodded and followed him out, the bright sun making me squint.

“Alright sun, I’d appreciate it if you wouldn’t make me blind, but it’s fine.” I grumbled, angry that I was literally walking like a blind man. I felt a hand pat down on top of my head and the sun was gone. I blinked a few times before glancing back at Erwin, he had taken his baseball cap and put it on me. The hat was dark purple with our school’s name written in yellow across the front. I let my mouth fall open in surprise, “thanks.” He smiled and shrugged like it wasn’t a big deal.

“Levi, please, let’s go… I’m starving.” Mike whined and pulled his shirt up, “look I’m withering away!”

“Shut up you baby and let’s go.” Nanaba said shoving the keys into his hand. She walked around the truck and winked at me.

“What? Why are you?” I stuttered.

 “Hey Erwin! It’s a 3-seater, do you care if Levi sits in your lap?” She yelled over my shoulder at Erwin. Was she trying to kill me?

“I don’t care if Levi doesn’t.”

Fuck. Someone please kill me, this can’t be happening. Nanaba was out for my life and my sanity. Erwin climbed in first and sat back, letting me use the small space he had between his legs to crawl in and stand awkwardly. I reached out the side and shut the door, and turned to sit. I let Nanaba enjoy the company of my feet against her shins and I leaned against the window with my back. Erwin’s arm was right behind me, laying on the arm rest. The other however rested across my thighs, his fingers dangling from his wrist, each bump making them bounce and graze against my outer thigh. I kept forgetting how warm he was, he really was becoming a human heater

The trip back home was much quicker than the ride there, once Mike had parked the truck I wanted to bolt out. Mostly because my legs had started falling asleep but Erwin. He could give me that dazzling smile and I would forget all of my worries but that didn’t stop the doubts that screamed at me.

We seated ourselves as usual in our spot in the corner booth. Mike and I have been coming here since he could drive sophomore year, then Nanaba joined us junior year, and now well, Erwin joined us for our senior year. “I welcome you to our home base Erwin, it’s an honor to devour cheesy goodness with you.” Mike said dramatically, presently the booth as if it were made of gold.

“Thank you, good sir, it’s quite an honor to sit in your most sacred booth on such a joyous evening.” Erwin replied, his voice just as eccentric as Mikes. I rolled my eyes at the two of them, there was no way they _weren’t_ related. Mike and Erwin spent the entire dinner catching up again, even though they had spent years and years apart, they acted like they never left. It was nice to hear the table filled with laughter and I got to learn more about Erwin.

I learned briefly about his family, his mom worked from home with her own business and babysat kids. They only skimmed over his dad, Mike apologized to him, but Erwin seemed to brush it off easily, mentioning he was never around. His dad was in the military and was killed while overseas, most of Erwin’s life he was deployed. I felt pity for him, I never knew my dad. But having a chance to get to know someone a little, especially a parent, and knowing that they’re were dead made my heart ache a little. Erwin kept all smiles, moving quickly from the subject, asking about how Mike ‘swooned’ Nanaba. This was a day I’d remember for a long time, long after we graduated.

Once we were finished eating, we all crawled back into the truck. Once again, I was sitting on Erwin’s lap.

“Erwin, you want me to drop you off first?” Mike asked

“No, just drop me off with Levi.”

Mike raised an eyebrow, glancing out of the corner of his eye. “Tutoring on a Friday?”

“Yea!” I said a little too loudly. Mike shrugged and nodded, turning onto my street. “Thanks Mike, I’ll see you Monday.” Mike and Nanaba waved goodbye while Erwin grabbed his gym bag from the back and followed me up the walkway, stepping inside.

The house was dark and quiet, mom was working another night… as usual. I climbed the stairs and stood in just inside the doorway to my room, the soft clicking of the clock in living room downstairs filling the still silence. Erwin followed and stood behind me silently and wrapped his arms around my shoulders.

“You look cute in my hat,” he mumbled a little too close to my ear before laying his bag just inside the door. It gave me chills and made the hair on the back of my neck stand. I had already forgotten I was wearing it the entire time, I blushed and chewed on my bottom lip.

“Thanks.”

“So, any big reason why you wanted me to come over tonight?” Erwin rested his chin on my shoulder, his breath hot on my neck.

“Can I ask a stupid question?” I asked shyly, pulling his hat off and hanging it on my door knob.

“Sure.”

“What do you want?” That was too broad. “Uh, I mean, from me? Do you want me to be your boyfriend or something else?”

“Are you saying you want me to ask you out?” Erwin asked playfully.

“If you want to…”

I could feel his mouth against my ear. “Levi,” he said softly, “will you be my boyfriend?”

I turned my head towards him and stared into his eyes, letting the air fall still. I didn’t answer him. I kissed him instead, letting my head fall back to meet his. We kissed softly and quietly, still standing in my doorway. I wanted him to know how I felt with this kiss. I broke for a moment, our lips still almost touching.

“Is that a yes then?” Erwin asked quietly, his voice barely louder than a whisper.

“Yes.” I turned to face him and kissed him harder. If the eyes are the gateway to the soul, the lips are the same thing for the body. They are softness, passion, and the promise of the sweetness to come. His lips were demanding and lustful, but still soft to the touch. I hooked my arms around his neck again, bringing him down to me. I felt his hands glide down the sides of my hips, hooking right under my butt before I was lifted up.

I gasped lightly at the sudden movement but swung my legs around his waist, letting him carry me. I shyly laid a kiss on his neck, my lips barely brushing against his skin. Erwin’s breath hitched and I felt his muscles tense under me. “Sorry,” I mumbled before burying my face into his shoulder.

“Don’t be, you just caught me by surprise… I liked it.”

“Oh,” I chewed on my bottom lip. I felt Erwin start to walk, leaving my doorway and going into my bedroom. In my head I debated on kissing his neck again. It gave me a sort of adrenaline rush knowing he enjoyed it, knowing I could make him tense under my touch. Or maybe it was just my hormones. Either way, I was enjoying it. I kissed him again, softly, from the corner of his mouth and across his jaw and down his neck until I reached just above his collar bone. I let my lips wrap against his skin and bit down. A strangled moan begged to escape from him and I felt his arms wrap around me harder. He certainly liked that. I ran my tongue over where I had just down and sucked lightly.

Being in my room again reminded me of the first time we kissed, the way I felt so lust driven with him. The way I literally felt like clay beneath his hands. I wanted to make him feel the same, to feel so helplessly lust crazy that your brain can’t think straight. I wonder if he wanted something more this time. Was I ready for that?

Erwin stopped walking, even though my room was dark and the street light outside gave some illumination, I knew he stood at side of my bed. Slowly I felt him lower me on to my bed, he was so tall he was able to set me almost in the middle. I kept my legs wrapped around his waist and he followed me on to the bed. Placing his knees just below my hips and my legs were now resting on the tops of his thighs.

He leaned forward, putting his weight on his forearms. I stared up at him, I remember when he told me about my eyes in the café. I thought he was crazy, but looking at him now, I understood. I always saw such icy blue eyes, cold and sharp, but now I know, the hottest fires always burn blue. I ran my fingers down his jaw gently, admiring every small bit of his features. Erwin leaned into my hand and closed his eyes, I could feel myself smiling softly.

“I remember looking at you in the café, Levi. I wondered if anyone had ever kissed you… if your lips were as soft as they looked.”

I gave him a light kiss, my thumb running over his swollen lips. “Were they what you expected?”

“You’re even better than I could ever imagine.” Erwin brushed the few black strands of hair from my face and kissed me. This kiss was a lot like our first one, sloppy but full of emotion. It was more animalistic and needing. I wanted him to touch me like he did before, no, I felt more like I _needed_ him to. I slid my hand from his jaw and into his hair. My fingers tangling and grabbing at his hair and neck.

I wanted to feel his skin on my hands, to feel his ridged muscles. I released the grip I had on his hair and fumbled with the buttons on his baseball jersey. The silky fabric slipped out of my fingers too easily. Erwin laughed softly and sat back on his feet, “let me help.” He smoothly unbuttoned the jersey all the way down and slipped it off his shoulders, tossing it onto the floor.

“Damn.” Fuck, I let that slip right out of my mouth. I reached out slowly, letting my fingers graze his stomach. Admiring every definition on him.

Erwin smiled shyly, “ha, thanks…” he put his hands on my hips, hooking his thumbs under the hem of my t-shirt. I followed his lead and arched my back, letting his warm hands slide along my waist as he pushed my shirt up. He laid a soft kiss against my sternum and moved his hands to my back. I sat up and helped him slip my shirt over my head, letting it pile on the floor with his. “Damn,” he mumbled before pushing me back against the mattress, his kiss even more demanding.

His lips trailed down my jaw and my neck. Soft gasps escaped from my throat until I felt his tongue run firmly over my nipple. “Ahh!”

I felt his hand slide towards the waist of my jeans, firmly riding over the ridges of my stomach. I grabbed him wrist hesitantly, making him look back at me.

 “Hmm?” Erwin tilted his head to the side, worry crossing his face.

“I-I uh, I’ve never done this before.” I stuttered out. My face was already flushed from the attention he’d given my neck and chest.

Erwin gave me a small smile before running his tongue over my nipple again, causing me to hiss sharply through my teeth. He bit and kissed his way down until his mouth met the edge of my jeans. I looked down, curious to watch. Erwin’s worry had completely vanished and he now looked at me with hunger and determination. “Tell me when to stop,” he unbuttoned my jeans and gently unzipped them. I arched my hips matching the movement of his hands so he could easily pull my jeans and boxers down. I took a deep breath feeling him kiss his way further until he was at the base.

With my eyes squeezed tightly shut I still covered them with my hands. I felt so many things at once. Lust like this confused me but I wanted more. I felt his large hands cover my own, gently trying to remove them from my face. He laid soft kisses against my burning cheeks which only seemed to burn more each time he touched me. He nipped at my jaw near my ear and mumbled, “Levi, trust me, I would never do anything to hurt you.” Erwin’s voice was like soft velvet against my skin.

I took another deep breath and nodded. Erwin went slower, laying soft kisses against my collar bones. A firm hand grasped me and I gasped hard. He smiled at me, biting into the curve of my neck, and stroking me slow.  Every moan that seemed to rustle out of my chest he swallowed up. I was on the verge of both telling him to keep going but also wanting him to stop. It felt amazing. It was an incomparable feeling, my body was on fire, my brain felt like a million fireworks going off, but my muscles felt weak. My hands grasped effortlessly at the sheets beneath me

  “You’re so beautiful, Levi.” His hands rubbed the tops of my thighs gently and Erwin chuckled watching me try to burry my face again.

I felt my breath catch in my throat and my mouth fall wide open. I looked back up at him, his face now flushed to all hell, but he still held that stupid smile. He smiled brightly and kissed me softly, I felt like he stole the all the oxygen from my lungs. He left soft kisses down my chest and stomach, stopping briefly right below my navel before looking back at me. I had propped myself up on my elbows, watching this art unfold in front of me on my body. He smirked taking my cock in his hand again. Erwin rubbing me was enough to get me off but I knew that was just the beginning of what he had planned.

Slowly he traced his tongue from the base to the tip, circling around the tip before wrapping his lips around it. “Oh, fuck…” I groaned. I let my head fall back, enjoying the warmth of Erwin’s mouth as he moved up and down slowly. My breath came out as heavy pants and groans. The sound bounced off my walls and came right back at me, I didn’t know if the sounds I made were obnoxious or not, that would have to wait though. I wasn’t sure what to do with my hands, I couldn’t pull at the sheets any more than I already was. “Erwin please… ple-please.” I heard his mouth pop as he came up, releasing me.

“Please what?”

“Erwin…”

He crawled up to my face and put his mouth against my ear, his voice low. “I want you to ask for it.”

“Please… don’t stop.” I replied, my voice a bit shaky.

Erwin only winked at me before taking me in his mouth again. I’ve never experienced such bliss before, I couldn’t think of anything else but him, he was everything at that moment. “Fuck… fuck.” I new what climaxing felt like, I was a virgin but I was not innocent. Though I’ve never had someone touch me and it was driving my body crazy. This was embarrassing, “Erwin, I’m gonna…” I expected him to stop or pull me out of his mouth but he continued until my breath became deep and my head dipped back into the bed. Erwin didn’t release me until my body relaxed into the bed again.

I wiped more black strands from my forehead, sticky to my sweaty forehead. My skin was flushed and hot, I still felt like I was on fire. Erwin greedily licked his lips and laid next to me, pulling me against his chest. He kissed my hair softly and hummed happily. “Feel good?”

I swallowed hard, my throat was so dry. “Uh… uh, yea… but what about you?”

Erwin huffed a laugh and rolled his eyes at me. Amused by my stammering, “there’s nothing about me. I wanted to make you feel good and I did.” He nuzzled his face against my hair.

“I should probably clean myself up a little.”

“Mhmm,” he hummed tiredly.

“Want to stay over again? You can shower here,” I wanted to keep him to myself. To soak up every moment I could spend in his embrace.

“I’d really like that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not screaming, you're screaming.


End file.
